The Royal Baby. I Couldn't Care Less.

I MADE SOMEBODY mad yesterday when I stated in a Facebook post that I couldn't care less about the royal baby.

Ah yes, the dreaded lack of sense of humor. It leaves the building and makes everybody cringe. GUH. At least some people still have it .... like the genius Onion guys.

I didn't even know there was going to be a royal baby. Wait a second - England's royalty, right? The figureheaded royalty that does nothing and is very rich because of it. As a Canadian I'll probably get my citizenship revoked for saying it, but the royal family means as much to me as a can of FingerEase, only FingerEase is useful and I get emotional after spraying it on my strings.

I think it's great another child came into this world safe and sound. I wish every baby born yesterday the best of luck and a great life. When it comes to the eventual grandchildren, I will do cartwheels, but I won't have silly betting pools or gush out babbling posts.

If you get excited about the royal family, good for you. After I get a new can of FingerEase, I will join you in your excitedness. Honest. Really.