Monday, August 29, 2016

Keep your shirt on

APPARENTLY THERE IS such a thing as "National Go Topless Day." It happened Sunday in, of all places, San Francisco. No. Really?

Thirteen women showed up at a park not wearing anything above the waist. And men were wearing bikini tops. If men can go topless, so should women, right?

Put your shirt on, Phil. Or don't. Pour some sugar on you.
In a world of flaunting sexuality, why can't we all just get along and put a top on it? The last thing I want is our Outside People not wearing shirts. Wait. Some of them don't, at least the men. I almost crashed again near Sixth and Washington.

I am not standing up during the national anthem until this is fixed.

I am going to sit on a Lake Michigan beach very soon. I will sit in the sun with my shirt off for a few minutes, but only a few, because I don't want to get burned. Then I will spare family and friends my buff chest and sculpted abs. Because, really, who wants to be like Def Leppard guitar player Phil Collen? I'll work on my shredding and biceps.

And I'll keep my shirt on.

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