Ghosts in machines, and why stuff doesn't work

WE'VE BEEN WITHOUT internet at Second String Music since Saturday. Sheryl finally got through to our provider's "customer service," and they determined it was a bad router. "Bad Router" would be a great band name, right?

Anyway, our provider agreed to send us a new router. Then, mysteriously, for no reason, the old one started working again. I'm not questioning it, because I'll jinx it if I do. But even Sheryl is baffled.

There is a term for this, Ghost In The Machine. Apparently it's the title of a 1967 book about the brain and why we self-destruct, or something like that. It's also an incredible album by The Police. In our case, it refers to stuff not working for no good reason.

The only Ghost In The Macine in like .....

Last week Sheryl installed a new pickup into an acoustic guitar. I checked it and it worked fine. Then the owner showed up and just to make sure, we tested it one more time. Guess what? It didn't work! Surprised? I wasn't. Fortunately we got to the bottom of it and now it works fine.

Two weeks ago I was playing a show in Mount Sterling with Pepper Sprayer Tim Smith. My guitar stopped coming through the PA. I checked everything. Then it started working again, for no good reason. I am thinking there are Ghosts In Machines everywhere.

I recently lugged all the Christmas stuff out and strung up lights inside the store. Then I got the tree down from the haunted third floor, plugged it in, and realized only one of every 15 lights worked. Of course they don't work! They were fine last year. But the Ghosts have been playing with them, I'm sure.

Now a bank of lights is not working in the store. We've called our electrician. I'm sure he'll show up, flip a switch, look at the lights, and say, "They are fine. What's the problem? I'll send you the bill." Actually he's a great guy and wouldn't do that. But I'm sure the lights aren't working because they just don't want to work.

We just want stuff to work. Go away, Ghosts. Leave the Machines alone.