Barrie the bird and never getting lost

 I HAVE A habit of making wrong turns and getting lost. It's inherited from my late mother, God bless her. My internal GPS has wires plugged into wrong circuits. 

I'm trying to get better at not getting lost, thanks to a simple yet thoughtful gift from a Lab Brat. And it's already helping me with road rage. Win win!

Last Saturday I went to St. Louis with a couple of other Lab Brats and I turned east instead of west to get back on the highway. Then I turned off on the wrong exit near Troy. We ended up going around a brand new roundabout and careened back down the exit to the highway - it was amazing and you gotta look at the bright side of the directionally-challenged thing.

Monday, my friend Jennifer Henthorn, who works at the main 11th Street lab at Blessing, gave me a bird made out of paper. It's called origami, the Japanese art of folding a single piece of paper into an object. This thing is way cool and I've put it on the front dashboard of my work vehicle. There's no way I'll ever get lost and the bird, named Barrie, will guide me and keep me from losing my marbles when dealing with the usual crazies on the road.

Barrie is amazing. Jennifer shrugged it off by saying "I've made them since fourth grade and this is the only thing I know how to make." It's the simple things and gestures that count and this one is huge.

He is named Barrie in honor of the city north of Toronto where Canadian relatives live. They need to know we aren't all ignorant bullies.

Barrie just seems to be a calming influence. Yesterday I got cut off by a pickup truck on U.S. 61 near Palmyra. Normally I scream and curse and get bent. But with Barrie leading the way, I kept the cursing volume low and got over it quickly. See? I'm trying harder to be a light, and Barrie is helping.

With a new bridge by Mo. 6 being built and roads closing left and right in Quincy, I'm gonna need  patience. Now there are signs indicating construction on I-172 near the Hannibal exit, so Barrie will help me find the best way and deal with single highway lanes and semi-trucks changing lanes at will.

Thanks you Jenny! Barrie is a welcome addition to lab courier adventures and will help me keep it between the lines. Even when getting cut off.

All in for Linda

 I HATE POLITICS. Many politicians are blowhards who make promises they can't keep. I vote every election because it's a right and it's important. But I don't jump up and down when it comes to the way we govern ourselves and how we choose our representatives.

Except now.

I'm all in for Linda Moore, who is running for mayor. She isn't running as a Republican or Democrat - refreshing! The election is in less than a month. She's going up against an incumbent who is well-financed but has more issues with his own party than just Linda.

You know the old saying - "If you can't say something nice about somebody, don't say anything at all." So I'm not saying another word about the current mayor. You are welcome.

Don't underestimate Linda. She is tireless and has a lot of support. Can she win? I'd call her the underdog right now in a town that tends to vote 70 percent Republican.

This is my opinion. And only mine. And it's probably wrong, because I'm no good at political stuff and predicting things.

But ...

There is a Lab Brat at Blessing who is young, married, lives in her own house and has started a family. I asked her if she is voting in the mayoral election. She said, "I don't think it matters. It's already been decided."

Actually, SHE is the one who will decide it, her and not that many more just like her. It's all about getting the vote out. I am not afraid of telling people, especially young people, to get registered and to vote, because it matters. I don't tell them who to vote for. That's their decision and their right.

So I'm all in for Linda Moore. And I'm making a plea to you if you live in Quincy but are not registered to vote and don't plan on voting April 1.

Just. Vote. You might be surprised what a difference it makes.

 

Arizona, golf and … hockey?

 ON THE WAY to lovely Phoenix and stuck in the St. Louis airport on a two-hour flight delay, it seems there is only one thing as important as the annual Arizona Golf Bender - the 4 Nations game Thursday night between Canada and the USA.

This is a rematch of last Saturday’s game and it will be just as intense. But here’s the issue - who to root for?

My brother Steve lives in Chandler and hosts the Bender. My cousin Roland from Michigan will there. Steve and I have dual citizenship and I think Roland does too. We are all into it.

The game has additional meaning since the US President is a knucklehead and has stirred up the normally polite Canadians. I think we need to make Wisconsin a Canadian province and put tariffs on hockey pucks imported from Quebec. While we are at it maybe we can trade the guy who is President to Moose Jaw for a draft pick. A very low draft pick.

Anyway I’ve always cheered for both countries. I was born in the States but grew up in Canada and have a Canadian father. I have no desire to move back but you never know - maybe ICE will investigate to two illegal alien cats living in my garage and get me in trouble. 

I can still remember the Summit Series of 1972 when Canada played the Soviets in an epic 8-game series. We were still living in London, Ontario in 1980 during the Miracle On Ice and it was stirring to watch. It’s tough when the US plays Canada because there are allegiances to both. Canadian fans are booing the Star Spangled Banner (an awful song) and US fans are gloating about beating the Canadians at their national pastime. 

In the end, I’m leaning toward the Leaf because I like being a heal. The three Hosers in Chandler will be doing a lot of hooting and hollering Thursday night regardless, and the 4 Nations has been great for the game in general. If you’ve never watched hockey before … this would be a good one to start with!

May the best team win. Also, rooting during a hockey game when it’s 70 and sunny is NOT overrated.

Rubber bands, computer cables and happy cats

You pull it. I'll chase it!

 

 CATS HAVE IT figured out. Less is more, unless you are talking about sleep.

Coco spends her long winter days asleep in any number of places. If I leave a sweatshirt on the floor it becomes her mattress. Or she'll crawl onto the east-facing window ledge in the morning and warm up with the sun.

She is usually awake and going crazy when I get home from work. She likes the attention and loves to play. So we've acquired an impressive amount of cat toys. Most are stuffed birds, balls and things tied to a stick. There's a flopping fish which actually has a rechargeable battery - I somehow found a cable to charge it up and it's flopping again.

Coco is a playful cat but unless you put catnip on her toy, she is one and done. So I picked up a bunch of old and moldy cat toys recently and tossed them. Coco didn't mind. "It's kind of like after the Lions finish the season. You just throw it away and forget about it," she said.

The other night Coco was charging around the house with the zoomies. Then she jumped five feet in the air and batted at something. It took a second until I realized it was a rubber band. Yes. A STUPID rubber band. All these toys and this is what riles you up?

"Rubber bands are the best," Coco said. "You can pull them and smack them and try to break them but they just seem to bounce back. And they make funny noises if you pull them the right way."

That's been cat toy No. 1 lately, until she finally snapped it too hard and it broke. Coco was disconsolate. But, lo and behold, the computer cable I used to charge up the flopping fish was laying on the ground, and Coco attacked it with a vengeance. 

Now it's every morning. "You hold it up and I'll bat it and try to eat it," Coco says. 

Every. Morning.

Here's the moral of the story. You can have all the toys you want, the latest and greatest gear, the desensitizing video games, the stuff that makes Amazon and the world go around.

Or you can be happy with a rubber band and a computer cable that looks like a string.

As usual, Coco is the one making sense and teaching life lessons. It's her world. We are just the ones holding the computer cables so she can bat at them.

 

All trivia and no Lions

  COCO IS STILL very upset about the Lions losing Saturday night. She's also ticked off I didn't watch the game with her.

Coco, of course, thinks she's a Lion. And she's only become interested in the Lions since they started winning a few years ago. She's a bandwagon fan, like most of the Chiefs fans around here, but Coco doesn't sugarcoat it. "Look, I've only been alive a few years. I'm not bitter and old like you," she says.

A month or so ago I got invited to be on a music trivia team by Justin Sievert. It was the same time as the Lions playoff game. Oh well ... I left the game on for Coco and headed out.

Fellow Prospect Road member Alicia McCarl was also on our team. I learned a few things Saturday night - don't argue with Alicia about the name of the stupid Belinda Carlisle song, for starters. Also I actually knew the words to a Queen song but learned them wrong. And yes, I did know that Vixen sang "Edge of a Broken Heart" which is both gratifying and terrifying at the same time.

Anyway, Emily texted me from sunny Florida and let me know the Lions played badly and blew it. So my blood pressure stayed a lot lower by going to a music trivia contest instead of watching the game. Even Coco eventually agreed I was better off. She was depressed all day yesterday and is still in a funk. As usual something else made her finally boil over.

"What? You bought a heated cat bed for the garage alley cats? You ... you .... TRAITOR," she meowed.

Emily was born in Michigan and lived for many years in upstate New York, so she's also a Bills fan. A long time ago she said, "Dad, at tailgate parties these crazy Bills fans jump off of campers and into tables like wrestling!" That was enough to hook me and now I'm a Bills fan too.

Even Coco was glad the Bills won yesterday. We are both wondering if they will get flagged for breathing on the Chiefs quarterback this Sunday. "That KC quarterback flops like a fish," Coco said. She's right. All the time.

So we'll probably watch Sunday, and Coco will either feel better about it or really get ticked off. Cold January days and nights are tough enough to get through and I want Coco to be happy.

C'mon Bills! Beat the floppers. And make life a little easier around here for Coco. And me.

 

  

Tips for dancing with a local star

 The 15th Dancing With The Local Stars event is Feb. 7 at the Ambiance in Quincy. It's modeled after the TV show and is highly entertaining. Why would I know?

Well. I was in the first one, 14 years ago. My partner was Julie Venvertloh. We did a disco routine and our instructor was from Vancil Performing Arts. I met the late Frank Haxel for the first time at the Vancil studios when I wandered into the wrong building - there's something poetic about that - and he told me to go across the street, but not when there was traffic.

I can remember walking up and down a snowy 9th Street to attend practices, and how I felt like a massive klutz. This was the very first DWTLS event, and Cornerstone hit gold right away. It took place at the Holiday Inn on East Broadway and was sold out. It was also right before we opened Second String Music, so there was a lot going on.

Happy days, indeed.

The Mighty One, Adam Yates, is competing this year. He's dancing with Sam McKelvie, who is amazing. It's a bucket list item for me to attend one of her Zumba classes, but I'm afraid everybody else would be laughing too hard, or horrified, and I'd disrupt the class.

Strange how Adam and Sam haven't reached out to ask for advice or tips from an OG. Actually, it's not strange. I can't dance. But geesh, did Julie and I have fun.

Sheryl managed to find a gaudy disco outfit. I found the wig and sunglasses the other day while decluttering a junk room.I'm making an effort to toss stuff, but I don't have to heart to get rid of the disco outfit - yet.

Julie was sensational. I did not forget half the routine, I improvised half the routine. I believe there was a lot of beer involved. Chris Kelley was a judge and gave us high marks, but the other judges may have had too much beer and weren't as kind.

I was a judge the next year, to the best of my recollection, and that was fun as well. A couple of years later Kathleen Birsic and Kris Kutcher won it, and the next day they paraded around downtown with the trophy while making, uh, pit stops. They came into Second String Music very proud and very happy, with predictably hysterical results.

Sam and Adam have their work cut out for them this year. I've seen The Mighty One bust a move a time or two, and he has obvious rhythm skills being a drummer and all. But there are some formidable teams and some Quincy Community Theater veterans dancing, and they'll be good.

I look forward to being entertained! If Sam and Adam win, maybe we'll parade around town the next day too! Not.