Attacking balloons to get rid of country music ick

AT THE END of the work day, I go to Blessing's 48th Street facility and sit at a podium. We often have people coming in for late lab work or x-rays, etc. I'll get them directed to the right spot. It's a good way to wind down what are often hectic days of driving and walking around in circles.

The problem lately at 48th Street is that some administrator has decided to play awful late 90s and early 2000s country music over the intercom. This was a bad time in country music, a lot of bad songs by average "artists" who had little talent. Here! Let's record this one! Let's auto-tune the harmony vocals! Let's put the same old Telecaster guitar solo right before the last verse! Yay!

Some days I just want to hurt something or somebody after being forced to listen to it.

I won't mention the name of the person who is in charge of this, but his initials are Evan Canfield. I asked him nicely the other day to put different music on at the end of the night, but he was in a meeting and has way more important stuff to do, like running various hospital departments, so the request has fallen on deaf ears. Like, my fingers in my ears when I sit at the podium.

It might be time to go over Evan's head.

Yesterday was Ashley "Red" Redenius' 40th birthday. She's one of the head Lab Brats. She is awesome and likes Caramel Marching Band coffee. She has an office at 48th, and other Lab Brats decorated it with some nice balloons over the doorway. I hope Red had a great birthday. But she left yesterday afternoon and didn't take the balloons and won't be back until next week. So ... they had to go.

Another head Lab Brat, Amanda, started taking the balloons off the doorway and gently inserting needles into them to deflate them. "I don't want to hurt them," she said. That's when the week of being force-fed bad country music finally overtook me.

I grabbed a pen. And I went to town. Pop! Pop! Pop! It felt wickedly ... satisfying. Then the pen didn't work on the smaller balloons, so I started slashing with scissors. Slashing With Scissors is a GREAT band name. And it's a great way to get rid of frustration. On inanimate objects, of course.

Younger Lab Brats Skylar and Ashley took video. Can't wait to see that on Instachat or Lab Couriers Gone Wrong online. Soon there was nothing but shredded balloons and a weird rubber smell. 

Of course Ashley and Skylar, the nicest young people you'll ever meet, sweetly suggested we clean it up. Unfortunately I had to go. We did leave a few balloons over the doorway and I hope Red's 40th will be remembered as the best ever. It will for me, anyway.

Somebody else better have a birthday and balloons next week if the country music keeps playing on the intercom. Ya'll been warned.