The missing glove

 I AM ALWAYS missing stuff. Keys, wallet, work badge, guitar capos, the meaning of life. It's not easy being so clueless all the time, you know.

Recently I lost a glove. A really nice ski glove, one that kept my hand warm. When you walk dogs every morning, it's important to protect the hands in cold weather. Of course I can't remember where I lost the glove.

So I went upstairs into a room full of junk and debris, also known as a "spare bedroom." I found another dark glove. It isn't even remotely a match for the missing ski glove. But it works. So I wear two completely different gloves.

A guy at work said, "Why do you have two different gloves?" I said, "The ski glove keeps my strumming hand warm." The guy was confused. Most people are after they talk to me. I just shrugged and kept going in circles.

The whole men not caring about two different gloves is actually Biblical in nature. Remember Abraham from the Old Testament? His wife, Sarah, gave him grief about losing his gloves when he left Ur. It's in the book of Genesis. 

"Yea and verily I sayeth unto you, Abraham, thou hast the brain of a sheep," Sarah said. "O Lord, my husband is a dumb ... well, you know."

The older I get the more I talk to God. Some people call it prayer. I call it therapy and conversation. So I asked God if it was OK to have two completely different gloves.

"Do they keep your hands warm, child?" God said. "And are they both dark in color?"

Uh, yup.

"Then don't worry about it," God said. "Although Sarah was right. About a lot of things."

I think what God is really trying to say is to not spend so much time looking for something so completely lost. Here I am, sitting in the pile of debris upstairs, and ..... Hey! I just found my checkbook! That sucker has been missing forever.

See how it all works out?