In search of senior vitamins

MY MISSION THIS morning is to go all the way to the other side of town to pick up the new water heater for our Fifth and Maine building. We have no idea how old our current water heater was, but it is dead now, so off we go to get a replacement.

While I'm at it I'm going to find a new supply of senior vitamins. Yes, senior vitamins. The official and overpriced name is Centrum Silver. They are marketed as pills for people "over 50." Sheryl says they are all the same, even men's and women's senior pills. "Just get the biggest bottle you can find for the cheapest price," she says. My Dutchness is rubbing off on her.

Morning routine ....

Sheryl has me on a regimen of vitamins, including methyl folate, magnesium glycinate, K2 and D3. They all have functions and I have to admit I feel pretty good for being an old fart at 55. As I like to tell many of my guitar students, "I have socks and T-shirts older than you." I had a 10-year-old boy take his first lesson yesterday and he asked me how long I've played guitar. "Longer than your mother or father has been alive," I said. "Wow. THAT old?" he said. "And I thought my dad was a dinosaur."

I even have a fancy two-week pill box to keep them organized. Every morning I lift the little flap and gulp down the pills, plus take a dose of CBD oil. I may have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, lifting my arms above my head and feebly swinging a golf club, but hey, I'm alive and wearing my years like a badge of honor.

Centrum Silver, of course, would be a great name for a band with old farts in it. I qualify. I'm not afraid of it, and I actually embrace it.

I have the pills to prove it.