Thursday, August 21, 2014

In the name of humanity, men - do the dishes!

THERE ARE A lot of pressing issues in this world - racial unrest, international terrorism, government corruption and ceaseless back-to-school photos on Facebook.

But let's talk about something REALLY important. Namely, doing the dishes.

If you are a man, you probably read the first paragraph and nodded in agreement, then recoiled in horror after reading the second. Men of this world, chill. I am here to help you. This isn't very hard to do, and you might score points with the ones you love.

This morning Sheryl took our dogs to the vet. That left me alone in the store. Hey! I can turn up this raucous tube amp and play this awesome new Ibanez guitar and practice my scales, and scare even the Outside People! Sweet!

Uh, no.

"The dishes need to be done," Sheryl said. "And something smells really bad in the fridge."

Every day in the back room of our store, I walk past the sink full of dirty coffee cups and food containers. Every day I think, "Hey, I should wash these." And every day, the Inner Man in me says, "Nah. They will wash themselves. You should learn a Foo Fighters song to teach your guitar students instead."

Dishes don't do themselves. As much as we want them too, they simply sit and wallow in dirty water or a neglected sink. And why should your long-suffering wife eventually give up and have to do them? We both drink coffee and dirty the dishes.

So I sucked it up and washed the dishes this morning, after I removed something green and growing from a container in the fridge. I sold two guitar pick packs and counseled a guy about drum lessons before I got done, and it didn't take that long.

See? You can multi-task, men!

The dishes are done, my wife is happy, and our fridge smells better.

What's that? You want me to dust?

Well. I gotta draw the line somewhere ....

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