Driver's license photo

I AM GOING to the Illinois Secretary of State office this morning to get a new driver's license. I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. In fact, I cracked a tooth in half a few days ago and have an emergency appointment at the dentist scheduled soon. I'm actually looking more forward to the dentist drilling holes in my face than to getting a new license.

It's usually not too bad. The people who work there are pleasant enough. Sure, I'm paying way too much to drive in a bankrupt state run by politicians on the graft, but hey, I'm in a good mood this morning. So I have that going for me.

Sheryl suggests getting google eyes for the photo. My current license picture is awful - I look like I've just committed a terrible crime. Maybe I was still working for a living back then. I look like I needed coffee really bad. I looked like I had to pee or had just figured out my tooth had cracked.

I could make a fish face, close my eyes, put my head in my hands, stick my tongue out, or look sideways. Maybe I will insist they use my latest Facebook profile photo, taken by Second String Music legend Mike Sorenson of Bad Wolf Media.

Or maybe I'll just stare at the camera and think, "I'm almost done. I might actually smile."

At least this year I'll actually get new stickers in time, instead of forgetting about it and going three months with expired tags.

I'm ready to go all the way across town and to get it over with. Wish me luck. Hopefully I'll be pretty as a picture, for the picture.