Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Bluetooth and doing nothing

I AM VERY good at doing nothing. This is a fine skill honed over many years of ignoring household chores, bills and yardwork. There are many ways to do nothing, and I have done them all. Or not. It's the same thing.

This thing even works in the sink!
Last night I took the Art Of Doing Nothing to a whole new level. Sheryl and I purchased a small wireless speaker. She showed me how to use it last night, as it was a beautiful evening and I was sitting by the fire pit, doing nothing.

She explained that you can sync any device, like an iPod or phone, to the waterproof speaker.

"What does the sink have to do with anything?" I asked. "Except where I put the dishes and ignore them?"

Sheryl rolled her eyes. She has done this so many times that I'm afraid they will permanently get stuck above her eyelids. She pried her eyes back to focus and showed me how to sync my phone.

Apparently you use something called Bluetooth. I thought that was something you got from not brushing your teeth.

"First, go to 'Settings' on your phone. Then find the Bluetooth setting and sync it up using 'Plunge.' Then go to your music and click on it to start listening," Sheryl said.


"Give me your phone," she said.

Like she always does, Sheryl patiently walked me through it and took some aspirin to stop the pain from her eyes being in the back of her head. Soon I was outside by the fire with a beverage and a stogie, and looking at the music on my phone.

I listened to the U2 album they so thoughtfully gave me for free. Then I discovered The Tubes and "The Completion Backwards Principle," perhaps the greatest 1980s rock album ever made.

Then I hit something called "Shuffle" and a bunch of songs previously unplayed on my phone came to life. Who knew April Wine and Boston could sound so good, even though their teeth are blue?

Normally I sit outside and listen to a ballgame or whatever I can find. Now I'm going wireless, and taking the Art Of Doing Nothing to a whole new synced-up level.

Where the heck is my phone, anyway?

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