Wednesday, May 4, 2016

I'll work with Kristy or Kelly or whatever her name is

EVERY NOW AND then when we are getting ready for the day, Sheryl flips on the TV  and garish talk shows are on. This is at about 9 a.m. I pay no attention to them because I don't care about Kardashibles or Bouncy being canceled in Nashville. And anybody who actually watches something called a Steve Wilkos needs to be drenched in acid until they cheer up.

A few weeks ago a host of one of the shows got mad because the male host decided to leave. I saw some snippets on Facebook and online, so it must be true. I think the woman's name is Kristy or Kelly, and I think the guy who is leaving is Michael Strahan. Wait a second, isn't he a defensive lineman with the Giants? What? He retired several years ago?

I had no idea.

I will take your place, Michael. Who do you work with, again?
Anyway, Kristy/Kelly is mad because she wasn't told Michael was leaving. Surely she should be told first and she shouldn't learn about it on social media! Sounds like Kelly/Kristy used to be in soap opera, if you ask me.

Wait. She was in a soap opera? I had no idea.

Supposedly Kristy/Kelly was so mad she didn't show up for work for a few days. Wow. I should have tried this during my working days, back when I had a real job. It would have made that 24-year career a lot shorter, that's for sure. But if Kristy/Kelly takes a few "sick days," it endears her to her legions of fans.

Kelly/Kristy threw a little fit, but she came back and she and Michael are now best buds, and now they are looking for a new male host, since Michael is leaving now instead of September. I'd leave now, too.

Look no further for a male host, Kristy/Kelly. I'm available.

It makes sense because you'd only have to pay me millions, not kazillions like Kristy/Kelly and Michael make. But we'd have to relocate to Quincy and refurbish our third floor of the Second String Music building for the new show studio. It's still cheaper than working and living in New York, and there's no traffic, and people don't yell at you all the time (unless you take too long at the bank drive thru). As long as we don't put up the guests at the New Tremont, we are all set.

I hope Kelly/Kristy/Kelly, whatever her name is, is okay with all this. If not, she can take a couple of days off to think about it.

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