Monday, December 16, 2019

Same old snow story

EDITOR'S NOTE: This is a story about snow. It is the property of the author and cannot be used without permission. Wait. It's been used many times already. Disregard, use at will. It's better than going out there yourself.

By Rodney Hart
Used To Be A Journalist
QUINCY - It snowed last night. Not very much. It seemed like a lot. Weather guys say it was up to 7 inches. It was actually about 2.

Photo by Mike Sorenson/Bad Wolf Media
People crashed their cars into other cars and into other immovable objects, even though they were warned to stay off the slick roads. People also bitched and moaned about the city not getting out to salt and plow the roads. It isn't true, but people like to bitch. Just read the comments about this story.

Central Services Director Jeff Mays said it was snowing and people should be careful. So did Quincy Police Deputy Chief Adam Yates. So did Quincy Fire Chief Joe Henning. So did whoever is now in charge of the Adams County emergency stuff. So did Adams County Assistant State's Attorney Josh Jones, who has absolutely nothing to do with the weather but was called by the media for a comment. "I've already been to Home Depot five times today and it sucks out there. Stay home," Jones said.

The HyVee at 12th and Harrison was a madhouse at about noon Sunday. "They are getting bread and milk," a manager said. "And salt. But we are out. They should just stay home."

"It is slippery out there," a customer said. "Who knew? The next thing you are going to tell me is to slow down and be careful out there."

"Slow down and be careful out there," said an Illinois State Police trooper who was stopping vehicles left and right at Fourth and Maine. "There is snow on the road."

KHQA weather guy Rich Cain said it snowed, then stopped. And it will melt, soon. "If it gets above 30 degrees, stuff starts to melt. Also, it will rain on Christmas Day," Cain said. "Also my daughter, Audra, is strumming Christmas carols on her awesome guitar she bought from Second String Music and it's quite pretty at 18th and Maine right now, and please stop bothering me. Because it might snow again."

If it does, be careful out there and stay home. Also, the co-owner of Second String Music at Fifth and Maine reports his sidewalks are clear and the store is open for business.

"Ouch," he said. "My back. Where are my pain pills? Come in and buy stuff. The end."

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