Finding dog toys

IN THE HART Calftown Manor, dogs and cats rule. We have Josie and Coco the cats, and we have Angus, Genie, and Malcolm the dogs. For some reason, we have five litter boxes - one upstairs, four downstairs. They all get used. I don't ask questions.

We have pet toys everywhere. In the morning, Angus insists on playing ball, which means Sheryl throws a small rubber spiky ball and it careens around the living and dining rooms, and Angus runs after it. Then Malcolm steals it. Then there's a bunch of barking and baying and singing. Ouch. Then the cycle of fun starts all over again.

Beware of dog toys in Calftown. And Fifth and Maine!

This morning Sheryl says, "You need to look for balls." This resulted in lifting couches and chairs and getting down on all fours and looking under beds, counters, and tables. And not being able to stand up. "I counted. There are 15 toys here," I said. "That's all?" Sheryl said.

We found four more toys in Malcolm's kennel, which serves as his bed. Josie the cat sleeps there more than Malcolm does. Perhaps that's why we found them in the kennel. Sneaky cat!

You know how it hurts when you step on a toy like a lego? It hurts just as much and twists your ankle when you step on a plastic bone. Especially when the end of the bone has been chewed and the shards of plastic dig into your foot.

There aren't quite as many toys at Second String Music, but you still have to be careful when you walk in the store. Angus and Malcolm tend to fight more over a toy apple in the coffee shop next door, for some reason. But when you reach for a guitar and discover a doggie ball under the guitar stand, well, it's par for the course.

Our 9-year store anniversary is coming up, which means Beer Can Bowling, which means Angus' rubber ball we use is safely tucked away on a ledge next to the trophy. Sorry dogs. Your toy has been appropriated for much more important activities.

We'd love you to show up at the party! Just don't step on any animal toys.