Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween Memories

HALLOWEEN WAS ALWAYS fun when I grew up. We dressed the part and hit the neighborhood hard, and the challenge was to make the candy last as long as possible.

One year in London, Ontario, I remember playing a hockey game on Halloween night, so I simply put on my gear, made the rounds and then went to the game.

One of the best parties I ever went to at Central Michigan was a Halloween bash. My roommate, Marty Horjus, made me go to a thrift store and I bought an old dress and went as a cross dressing double secret agent spy. In my purse was a toy Luger pistol, and I told people I was actually pretending to spy for the Germans, which confused everybody even more. Then at the end of the night, a guy nicknamed "Bits" (long story) kept feeling me up, and I got worried because he was having trouble with reality by the end of the night. As were we all.

My daughter, Emily, was huge into Halloween. We dressed her up from a very early age and carted her all over the place. The other day I saw on her Facebook page she was dressed at a traffic cone for a social gathering, the politically correct way to say party. Because I really don't want to think about it. Don't do anything I would back in the day, Em.

Three years ago my old band, The Funions, played a righteous Halloween gig at The Elks. We borrowed some jail uniforms and The Mighty One's wife was the Naughty Warden. She led us on stage as we were chained together, and later Rock A. Bye Johnny B. came out as Elvis and tore the house down. I still remember Pat Cornwell refusing to wear the shirt because "it didn't fit."

The last two years, The Cheeseburgers have played out at a party in Payson, and some of the costumes were tremendous. I will not talk about the farmer with the sheep. The band was in prison garb one year, doctor's scrubs the next.

No parties this year. We are handing out candy at the store, and Fast Eddie is threatening to dress up as an evil veterinarian and giving everybody shots for tapeworm. Maybe.

So, happy Halloween! Be safe out there. And bring me your extra candy, I'll bite the bullet and eat it for you.

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