FAST EDDIE PROMISES cat nip for all when he's elected president. Since he thinks he won his debate with Angus The Young last night, it's just a matter of time.
While the rest of you were watching "Lies WRONG SNIFFLE lies WRONG SNIFFLE lies and WRONG SNIFFLE lies," I watched Fast Eddie and Angus talk about the issues at Second String Music. They both agreed more than disagreed, such as cold weather means no more Outside People in the park and cat nip can be a beautiful thing, but not in moderation. (You can't OD on Nepetalacton, according to the fat cat.)
It stayed civil until the very end. Angus accused Eddie of being a pussy, which he is so that was rated as "True." Then Eddie accused Angus of being a mongrel, but he's not, he's a mutt, so that was rated as "Mostly False." Politico quickly pointed it out and all of the sudden social media started going wild. Fortunately cat and dog came to their respective senses, especially when Angus was threatened with a leash and Eddie was told he'd never get another treat again if he didn't behave.
Fast Eddie wants more sunny nap spots, cat treats three times a day (minimum) and Medicat to pay for any neuter/spay procedures. Angus is all about building a wall around Woodland Cemetery so no more moles can get in. When pointed out by moderator Les Nessman that moles dig under fences, Angus said "WRONG WRONG WRONG WOOF, sniffle" and dug up the carpet in protest.
I could bore you with the rest of the debate, which had a lot of barking, baying and meowing, but I don't want to talk about Trump and Clinton. The dog and cat behaved pretty well and stuck to the issues - Fast Eddie thinks free kitty litter is a right. Angus thinks going outside and taking care of bidness is the way to go.
After hearing about the Trump and Clinton debate (I didn't watch, my stomach isn't strong enough), I can say with confidence that Angus and Fast Eddie didn't act humanely at all in their debate. And that's the highest compliment we can pay them.