Beer Can Bowling is HUGE

FORGET ABOUT THE Olympics, or impending March Madness. The real Sport of Kings takes place Saturday at Second String Music, during our 7 Year Itch party.

Yup. It's the first-ever, inaugural and never been done before Beer Can Bowling Invitational. Already we've issued 17 press credentials from seven different countries, er, counties, and the excitement is palpable at Fifth and Maine.

NOT the real trophy

We had a meeting last Friday that got in the way of Happy Hour, but we overcame. Frank Haxel was named Beer Can Bowling Association president, Adam Yates is the executive editor, I'm the senior write, Sheryl is comptroller (she resigned immediately), James McKinney is director of security and Steve Rees and Paul Lester are non-volunteer volunteers. That means they don't have to attend any meetings. Actually, none of us do, which is why this whole operation is such a well-oiled machine.

We've made rules, which are as follows ....

The cans (pins) are set up 10 at a time. Each bowler gets three throws. Each pin is worth one point. If there are disputes, Director of Security James McKinney will settle it. The last time James was asked to direct security, two idiots were deposited on the sidewalk of the old Blind Pig before they knew what hit them, so don't mess with James.

If you hold a beverage and throw, you get one bonus point. If we have the event on the sidewalk, same goes for holding a stogie.

Also, committee members can cheat. The ball can only bounce once (or twice). The person with the worst score must roll an un-opened beverage and knock down all the pins, then open the beverage right away, preferably on the sidewalk. Heaven forbid we spill beer on our carpet. Right.

The balls used for Beer Can Bowling belong to Angus. He is not happy about us using his stuff but he will get over it. He will probably be home by the time we start rolling (ark bark ruff) but if he’s still here he might snatch your shot before it hits the pins, and that’s just too bad. Have a beer.

So join us for the mayhem. It starts at noon with a jam session and the bowling starts about 3, and who knows how long we’ll be here. It promises to be memorable ... if we remember.