Figure out skating at Olympics

AHHH, YES. IT'S time for that annual tradition in sports, the winter Olympics, also known as hurtling down a hill feet first and throwing rocks into circles. They are taking place in South Korea, which is far away to the right of us across the ocean. You know, somewhere over there.

South Korea is 12 hours ahead of us, meaning we'll have to watch the obscure NBC cable stations for live coverage. NBC, of course, will have hours of doctored and feel-good Olympic stories, and might show snowboarders and skiers every now and then. And figure skaters. Lots and lots of figure skaters.

This morning I walked into the TV room and Sheryl was cussing out the news as usual, but this time it was about figure skating.

"The Canadian guy fell but they gave him the gold medal!" she said. "The other guy didn't fall but he wasn't as flamboyant or something. THIS is why I don't watch the Olympics."

Or something. Right. Figure skating judges! They are real people too with real feelings and it's not their fault they fall for the pleated ruffle sow cow instead of the triple axle fluffer nutter, or whatever figure skaters do.

I think people watch figure skating for the drama. They can get misty eyed and talk about the artistry involved, and figure skaters are incredible athletes, don't get me wrong. But it's just not my cup of tea and I don't want to yell at the TV all the time.

So last night I watched mixed curling instead. Yes! Mixed curling! The Norwegians missed a shot and left two Canadian rocks in the middle, and the excited announcers went on and on about giving the Canadians the hammer. You should never give a Canadian a hammer, ever. I think we, er, Canada, won. But I'll have to check back to make sure.

Sure, I'll watch, especially the hockey. But that's about it. They won't give Team Canada a gold medal in hockey because their ruffles are pleated.