Medical terms and band names

 IF YOU ARE going to work in healthcare, you better have a sense of humor. I love my job because 99 percent of the time, the people are great. But here are places where I go on a daily basis where it's evident the people who work there don't have a sense of humor. I pity them. It's an awful thing. 

Much of the humor needs to remain in the lab, the office, the loading dock. If you don't work in healthcare, you wouldn't get it. It's not necessarily inappropriate, but it can be dark and funny at the same time. Enough said.

I pick up items at various labs and transport them to the main lab at Blessing Hospital. Let's start by saying I am not making fun of any medical procedure or body part - I take very seriously getting things to the lab and it can literally be a life-changing item I'm transporting. I busted my ribs and had my finger drained from a cat bite last year, so I know how painful and embarrassing medical stuff can be. 

I don't look at anything I take. HIPPA is a thing, you know. But I have to sign off on it. I don't see the names. I do see what I'm taking.

It's just too easy to take stuff, and then make band names out of stuff.

Examples? Butt Cyst, Gallbladder With Contents, Inked Tonsils, Fourth Toe, Bladder Wash, Dumb Lab Courier Forgets and Cat Bites Hurt would all be GREAT band names. 

Sometimes it's not the stuff. It's the situation. A friend at Blessing's 48th Street location had to work late this week. She asked if I could bring her french fries near the end of her shift, when I'm there to pick up the last labs of the day.

She ate them on her drive home. "They were gone by the time I got home," she said.

We both agreed Devouring Fries is another amazing band name.

Sometimes it's medical but not job related. Like, "Ripped Nail" because of my bad guitar strumming technique. Another favorite is "Chipping For Bogey," which happened a lot during my recent trip to Arizona and is also the name of my autobiography.

There must be something wrong with me because every day I hear something or take something to the lab and I think, "What a great name for a band!" Maybe I should pay more attention to the road or not forget the dry ice on my way to Hannibal.

Hang on. Dry Ice To Hannibal. GUH. 

It never ends.