We have the first two floors renovated and leased out. So we've decided to remove the top three floors. We've struck a deal with the city to move them over to Fourth and Maine, site of the old Newcomb, and the building will be renamed "Outside People Central."
Anything to get them out of the park, you know.
Everybody wins in this deal. It will take an enormous amount of work to rehab the third, fourth and fifth floors. We have a handshake agreement with Haxel, Yates & Pezzella to fix them up. Their new company is called "Dancing Fire Pepper Spray." The windows will stay boarded up during the rehab so the birds and Outside People don't get in. And no scrapping or scavenging allowed, period.
|We don't need those stinkin' extra floors.|
"And if little single serve bottles fall out after I smash the floors with a baseball bat, I call dibs," Frank said.
Some City Council members were a little reluctant to back the plan, which they did in a secret vote last Monday. We greased their palms and promised to plant trees on right of ways, and build a hydropower facility on the river with our profits. The city has guaranteed 100% property tax exemptions for life and also agreed to build a new bridge, and it will be open this summer when the Memorial Bridge closes for two years. Months. Whatever. I also got the city to throw in the old cardboard box plant land on Front Street, and we've named Mike Sorenson as director of the new Hartfelt Concert facility.
I'm a little bit sad about this because the view from our roof is spectacular. Oh well. Take some pictures now, while you still can. Pepper Spray is planning a blowout rooftop concert just before the three floors are removed. Get Back, baby. Sign the waiver before you party with us five stories high.
Win, win, win. Our building will look better, for sure. Just wait until you see the aquamarine peaked roof we've picked out over our second floor. It will have peaks and baffles and battlements and all sorts of code violations. We can't wait.
It was tough, waiting until today to make this announcement. We are so excited. Let's have a serious Happy Hour(s) this afternoon to celebrate!