Friday, January 6, 2017

It's so cold that ....

THIS MORNING IT was zero degrees. Zero. As in, co co co co COLD. As in, so cold that even the dogs only wanted to walk one loop in the cemetery, especially Angus and his little Cowboy Corgi paws.

The downstairs bathroom water pipes at the house are frozen, even with heat tape and a space heater. People are putting their hands into the snow to warm them up, and I'm vacuuming every hour to suck up the salt and debris tracked into the store, before it thaws and makes an even bigger mess.

It's colder than ....

1. Kellyanne Conway.
2. The look of the Mexican treasury department CEO when informed THEY are paying for the wall.
3. Me, when forced to watch more than five minutes of Live With Kelly.
4. The one remaining beverage in the store fridge after successful Christmas happy hours.
5. Fast Eddie, after being locked in the back storage area yet again overnight.
6. My expression after hearing The Talking Head of the CBS morning show say she didn't know any of the lines from Caddyshack. How is this woman allowed to be in public at all?
7. The mail which just arrived and feels like an iceburg after it is OUT of the envelope.
8. The stare from Emily Hart when told she can't have a cat in her apartment.
9. Lake Michigan in September. Wait. Lake Michigan now. Really, Lake Michigan anytime.
10. The third, fourth and fifth floors of our historic Fifth and Maine building. Maybe some day they'll be warm and toasty on a cold winter's day. Maybe. NOT.

We should get one of these for Angus ....

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