Friday, March 16, 2018

Josie stinks at making NCAA picks

IT'S THAT TIME of year again, when your favorite team tanks in the first round of the NCAA Tournament and your brackets goes down the drain. We participate in the Hart Family Challenge, organized by my brother Steve. We use the ESPN brackets. It's fun to track the progress and just how bad you are doing.

For all the hoop nerds who claim there is a science to making picks, there are people like me who know it's luck and up to the hoop gods. Sure, you can pick favorites, but there's gonna be upsets and one bad day can bust your bracket.

The Hart Family Challenge is unique in that our pets participate. Angus, Tucker and Genie huddled up to form one team. They picked San Diego State to win it all because their coach, Brian Dutcher, was born in Alpena, Michigan. (So was Emily Hart. Go figure.) San Diego State, which isn't a state but a city, promptly got booted out of the tournament last night by Houston, which hadn't won an NCAA game since 1984, seven years before Emily was born. So the dogs are screwed and can't win, but at least they are ahead of Josie, our cat.

Josie made her picks and immediately trash talked everybody else in the field. "Bunch of pussies," she growled, while purring at the same time. "You may as well not even participate because I'm going to dominate."

Who me?
If dominating means being DFL (dead bleeping last) after the first day, well, Josie is killing it. Not only is she last, she is REALLY last and picked only one game correctly.

This explains what happened this morning. Emily's friend Rose from Iowa stayed with us last night because they are playing with the Quincy Symphony orchestra at Baldwin School today. Rose and Sheryl were having coffee this morning when Rose smelled something rank coming from under the coffee table. Sheryl smelled it too. They looked down and there was Josie, on her back, a big smirk on her face. "Yeah, I farted," Josie said. "Wanna make something of it?"

That's what happens when you make shitty picks, Josie.

I like the Hart Family Challenge because you can constantly check the bracket to see how you are doing. Right now I'm tied for first with four others, including my brother's dog. We'll see who barks loudest in a couple of weeks.

Meanwhile, we better find the air freshener at the Hart Calftown Manor, because Josie the trash talking kitty is going to stink it up for the rest of the tournament. And she still thinks you are all just a bunch of pussies!

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